Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Wifey Wednesdays - Give 'Im Somthin' to Talk About

My husband loves football. Seriously, it's been a life-long passion for him. He knows all of the statistics, the teams, and anything that there IS to know about the pre-, proper, and post-seasons.

And I do. not. get it.

It's just not my thing...I don't get what the fascination is in watching grown men run up and down the field after a ball and jumping on each other. I don't.

But I'm learning. Or at least, I'm trying to learn. There's sort of a curve...
And why, you may ask?
Why try to learn about something that holds absolutely no interest for me?

Because Hubs loves it.

The football season lasts from late August all the way up through February. 
That's 7 months out of the year that is devoted to this national obsession and Hubs lives for it. He's counting down the days until the actual season starts, and he's already keeping track of what's going on with the players now (mostly jail time and/or injuries from what I can tell...).

And look.
I could spend 7 months pouting, begging, and whining. I could spend time wishing that he'd stop loving it the way that he does and being passive aggressive about it. I could.



Or I could be proactive about my marriage.

My husband loves me more than football. I know that for a fact. But he really, really loves football and sometimes "the mountain has to go to Muhammed." I want to spend more time with my husband all through the year. It's not fair to expect him to just drop what he loves to do so that we can do things that I love to do, or to force him to spend time with me. That's fun for no one, trust me.

I had a little conversation with myself after last season about how I can make things in our home more pleasant and how I can nag less, and the answer came like a thunder clap. Rather than whining and complaining, I could cut to the chase and 

ACTUALLY SPEND TIME WITH MY HUSBAND.

Sometimes, I just need to do what HE loves to do, rather than being a child and insisting on constantly having it my way! Now, I know that there are feminists out there who will write me poisoned pen letters because they think that I'm advocating pitching your wants, needs, and interests to the wind and morphing into some cookie cutter Stepford Wife wannabe. 

Let me be clear:
I'M NOT.

What I AM saying is that sometimes we, as women, need to put down the romance novels and step away from the RomComs and meet our husbands halfway. Heaven knows my husband has walked through his fair share of antique festivals and craft stores in his day, so I should be willing to learn something about what he likes, shouldn't I? Isn't it worth it if it means that I get to spend more time with my husband, have actual conversations with him, and make him feel loved and valued in the process?! I know that it makes me feel like a million bucks when he goes out of his way to learn something about one of my interests so that he can buy me a meaningful Christmas present or be able to do something other than let his eyes glaze over when I start to talk about yarn tension and gauge swatches. Now, to me, football is dull as dishwater, but! My husband isn't. My husband is the person that I'm going to be spending forever with, so it matters to me that he feel loved and valued by me, and not just when we're doing something that I want to do.

And look: sometimes I think we need to think to ourselves in our mothers' voices, so I'm going to oversimplify the question here:
This is the choice:
I can either choose to sulk for 7 months every time Hubs reaches for the remote to check the scores on ESPN, thereby wrecking the spirit of my home in the process,

~OR~

I can choose to be an adult, love my husband the way that Christ has commanded me to (selflessly, patiently, kindly, with a spirit of humility) and thereby get to spend time with him and improve the spirit in the home.

Hm.



So. I'm slowly, slowly learning about football in bits and pieces, here and there. I'm trying. Like I said, there's sort of a curve to it. lol. It's not easy!

Does your husband have a hobby that he's passionate about? It could be anything- fishing, reading, science, baseball...maybe you're in the same boat as I am when it comes to football! Whatever it is, what can you do to "give [him] somethin' to talk about" with you? Can you imagine the look of delighted surprise when he realizes that you've been taking an interest on the sly and reading up on whatever it is that he's passionate about- just because he likes it?! SO precious! Can you imagine how that will speak to the soft parts of his heart and inspire feelings of love and self-worth?

Share your thoughts with me! What's your hubby's passion and how do you plan to share his interest?


8 comments:

  1. I've had the same problem with football! This year Matt actually made an agreement with me. He is sitting through every single episode of "So You Think You Can Dance" for me, and I'm going to watch every Cardinals game with him. And we are both going to actually TRY to get into what we're watching! So far, he's been acting like he actually LIKES my dance show, so I've got to pull through on my end pretty soon here.

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    1. I LOVE this idea!!! Such a great trade-off! It seems like that would get a lot of interesting conversation going about what you like ABOUT the different things rather than just knowing that other person "likes" the thing they're interested in. Very cool!

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    2. Love it Gretchen and I am in the same boat too....Charles loves college Football, namely, University of Michigan of course....so each fall he resorts to the couch to watch his games and I find other things to go like sewing, crafts, cooking, etc.....but we're both ok with this...his other passion is golf and though I tried to golf once or twice before...it's just not my thing so each time he golfs I ride in the cart with him....I get to see him play, we're spending time together, it's relaxing, I can read my books or take photos of him and the nature around us, so it's a win/win for each of us.... :) Love your blog, keep on it girl!!!!

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    3. Thanks, Beth! And your idea sounds lovely! Very laid-back and relaxing, for both of you! That's great!

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  2. For me it's baseball. My husband just started following it. So i'm watching with him and trying to learn too. I'm a football lover at heart so this is a very different game! But you're right, i've just got to hunker down and learn a bit. But man, the baseball season sure is long!

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    1. Lol! Right? That's how I feel 'round about December 31st- "is this EVER going to be OVER?!" But I think it goes by faster if I understand more of what's happening and why certain things are such a big deal! Hang in there girl! We'll make it! lol!

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  3. I have this same problem. I'm a football hater, married to a football lover. Last year I decided to attempt to learn something about it. It turns out there is a lot to learn! While I can't say that I enjoy watching football, I do enjoy hearing Clark explain football to me. And he claims to enjoy it as well, so win-win!

    Thanks for the reminder, it's time to start reading up on BYU's roster. . .

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    1. Good for you, Shannon! That's awesome! Honestly, I have a hard enough time with pro-football that I haven't even ATTEMPTED to start in on college ball and the Hubs loves both. lol. I figure it's a baby steps process. lol.

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